Shag Bag: A song for AK, Reed vs everybody & Tiger’s Masters menu

The Shag Bag

 The Shag Bag is a weekly compilation of amusing stories and anecdotes from the wacky world of golf.

A Tradition Unlike Any Other

A certain frosty beverage might just be making its return to this year’s Masters Champions Dinner menu. When asked recently what he will be serving his fellow green jacket winners next month, Tiger Woods revealed that he’s debating whether to include milkshakes as a dessert again. Woods served milkshakes at the Champions Dinner in 1998 following his first Masters win and explained that some of his favourite memories are of watching Gene Sarazen and Sam Snead slurping them down at the time. Aside from the milkshakes, Woods’s palate appears to have matured since the late 90s. His menu back then consisted of every male 22-year-old’s three favourite finger foods: cheeseburgers, chicken sandwiches and fries. This year, Woods will be serving a sophisticated medley of steak, chicken fajitas and “sushi and sashimi out on the deck”. If Woods does elect to serve milkshakes to a room of current and future hall of famers, you just know there will be at least one Masters prop bet regarding which flavour he chooses. He served strawberry and vanilla milkshakes in 1998. Could 2020 be the year of the chocolate milkshake? Only time will tell.

Reed vs. Everybody

The Patrick Reed saga is a never-ending source of joy and quality content. Here are the most recent developments:

  • Following his victory in Mexico last week, Reed’s management/PR team went on a social media blitz, blocking all of his haters, including the European Tour’s Eddie Pepperell!

  • A few days later, Sports Illustrated asked David Feherty for his take on Reed’s polarizing presence on the tour and the 61-year-old didn’t pull any punches. “I’m not even sure that he’s polarizing,” Feherty said. “I’m not sure there’s too many people on the other side, you know what I mean?” Feherty went on to suggest that Reed’s victory last week proved that there’s no such thing as cosmic justice: “‘There is no God’ was the first thing I said after he’d won last week. There is no God, you know. That’s proof of it right there. He’s Captain Oblivious . . . just can let everything run off his back. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

It seems like everyone is coming out of the woodwork right now to take their shots at Reed, and I simply can’t get enough of it!

A Tribute to A.K.

To commemorate yet another runner-up finish by Tony Finau a month ago at the Waste Management Open, musician and golf fan Sam Harrop released a video of himself performing a hilarious song called, “When Will Tony Finau Win Again?” In it, Harrop recaps a number of Finau’s close calls with the winner circle, before pointing out that even Charles Howell has won since the 30-year-old’s lone PGA Tour victory and that Rocco Mediate managed to win 10 events over the course of his career!

The video went viral in no time, leaving golf fans to wonder whom Harrop would target in his next song. We didn’t have to wait long. Harrop followed up his hit single with another gem last week, entitled “Back For Good (Anthony Kim)”. The song pays homage to the greatness that Kim showed in his brief time on the circuit, while pleading to the 34-year-old to finally make his long-awaited return. Kim famously vanished from golf in 2012 after rupturing his Achilles tendon, an injury that had an expected recovery timeline of 9-12 months. He hasn’t played in a single PGA Tour since, despite still having a major medical exemption. As Harrop so aptly puts it: “It’s been so long that even JB Holmes has played 18!” Lol! Can’t wait for the next one.

 

Bad Bounce of the Week

Brendan Steele suffered the lip out of all lip outs in the second round of the Honda Classic on Friday when his tee shot on the par-3 15th hole did a full 360 on the rim of the cup and stayed out. Had Steele made the hole-in-one, he would’ve won a new Honda. No big loss there.

Shank of the Week

Imagine psyching yourself up to play St. Andrews for months and then you go out there and do this on the first hole:

Video of the Week

We all know someone who will brazenly hold up play to look for their balls in neck-high fescue or shallow water hazards, but this dude is on a whole different level. Hope all of that wasn’t for a Top Flite.

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When you have ran out of balls! 😂

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Dave Kaplan
Dave Kaplan likes to indulge in a crisp apple cider and a considerable amount of hash after a round of golf. He cares not how you feel about this.

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