How do you stop leaking oil when you’re unaware of what’s causing it?

by Tim O'Connor August 17, 2025August 17, 2025

I don’t know of many other endeavours in which you can feel like you’re king of the hill one moment and the next you’re lying in a heap in deep dark valley.

Anyone who has played golf for a while has felt—for a couple holes, a nine and sometimes even a round or two—that they have mastered golf. “I got it!”

And suddenly, “I don’t got it.”

One of the hardest parts of golf is trying to determine what the hell is going on when you’re—as the saying goes—leaking oil.

Most experienced golfers have a decent enough swing that allows them to competently get around the course, some days better than others, some days worse. It’s the nature of the game.

But sometimes it feels like your swing has gone AWOL, the putter feels like a snake in your hands, and you’re hitting it everywhere.

Most golfers will start messing with an elbow, their hips, shoulders, sequence, weight transfer and so on, but their swing is rarely the problem. They believe the problem is physical, as if their body just started to rebel against them.

They rarely consider how they are being. That is, what state are they in?

This sounds esoteric so I’ll use an example. This season, I was invited to play two highly regarded private Ontario courses: St. Thomas G&CC and at Rosedale GC. As a golf writer, I’ve been a guest at many prestigious courses with board members and professionals, so it wasn’t an unusual circumstance.

Upon arrival for both rounds, I was my usual bantering and exquisitely charming self with my hosts. However, for most of the front nine in both rounds I was hitting big hooks off tees, topping a few irons, of all which I rarely do. Ugh.

Despite my wayward shots, I did my best to be a supremely wonderful guy to play golf with, all the while wondering what the hell was going on.

It eventually dawned on me near the end of the front nine in both rounds that I was tense. Not instantly, but gradually my ball-striking improved. Just the awareness that I was tight made a difference.

On an unconscious level, I believe that I interpreted these two rounds as tests; that I needed to demonstrate to my hosts that I can play great golf on great courses. Of course, this was my own nonsense. They couldn’t care less.

In looking back on both rounds, I was surprised at just how unaware I was of my underlying tension.

However, most of the time, we’re grossly unaware of the gremlins scurrying around under our mental floor boards. It’s like we’re in a trance, rarely conscious how we’re reacting to our triggers, impulses and habitual thoughts.

We’ve gotten this far this way, but living unconsciously doesn’t allow our best self to show up, especially when we’re feeling stressed. This is when we can say hurtful things or fire off a hasty email that we later regret, and we can’t find the planet with a golf ball.

Our usual reaction is to search for an action that will relieve our anxiety—such as alcohol, work, weed, etc.—but our fixes rarely work.

Golfers look for swing fixes, but they usually fail. You have an access issue: You’re unable to access your true ability.

Often, the real problem is that we’re unconscious of what we’re really feeling and thinking and how they affect our physiology and behaviours. Our actions are a result of who we are being. You don’t need to be a sports psychologist to know that if you perceive golf to be a test or a threat, you’re going to be tense, which is the greatest cause of mis-hits.

Whenever you struggle, instead of revisiting your index of swing thoughts, always review your fundamentals, such as alignment, set-up, and ball position. You’ll often sort things out right there.

If you continue to flail, begin “checking in” with yourself.

What you can do:

As discussed in my book, Getting Unstuck: 7 Transformational Practices for Golf Nerds, I invite you ask yourself two questions :

What am I paying attention to?
What am I feeling in my body?

When you check-in, you step out of your usual mode of thinking, feeling and doing. It’s the difference between being your thoughts and having thoughts.

It’s like detaching from your mind so that you’re no longer being driven by it; now you can observe your mind—and your body.

Surprisingly, just becoming aware of what’s happening is usually enough—the tension starts to ease, thoughts quiet, your emotions start levelling out, and you can begin responding more appropriately to circumstances and once again access your gifts and skills.

It exemplifies that awareness is curative. Not always, and perhaps not to the level we desire, but with greater awareness we almost always feel more at peace and closer to performing like we know we’re capable.

However, practicing a skill such as checking in is not natural for most of us. It’s not widely taught or a part of our Western tradition, and it’s becoming more difficult in a world of distraction, technological dependence and habitually short-term thinking.

Unless you make it into a practice.

You might write the questions on your scorecard so you seem them throughout your round. You could set an alarm(s) on your phone to remind you to ask the questions during your regular day. You might consider could incorporating them into short daily meditation.

Over time, you may develop the practice of asking yourself these questions when you feel stress. You will be surprised at how helpful they are.

These are simple examples of mindful awareness practices that you can bring into your golf and your life to feel more at peace, make better decisions, and stop leaking oil.

For more practices to help your golf game and your life, check out my most recent book, Getting Unstuck: 7 Transformational Practices for Golf Nerds, which is now available in both soft cover and Kindle formats.

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If you’ve ever considered mental game coaching, I’m inviting you to take the opportunity for a FREE 30-minute coaching call.

During this free session, we’ll discuss: